I'm Not "Indigenous Enough"

My father's side of the family is very large and complicated so it was not until I was in middle school that I found out I am part Métis. I remember feeling very interested in learning new knowledge of my ancestors and this newly-found part of me. I am fifth generation Métis which means it is not a very big part of my genetics, yet I still choose to identify as such. Really, you would never guess I had an Indigenous background just by looking at me. I get that a lot. It seems like everytime someone new learns I identify as Métis, I get the same response: "Really..?" "You don't look Métis" "But you're too white" "You're barely even Métis, how could you identify as it?". I continue to get these questions (in fact, the last time was just a few days ago) and each time it makes me question myself. It sends me into a spiral of thinking if maybe I am too white or don't have enough Métis in me to identify as it. It is because of this that I don't often share with people this side of me - because it doesn't line up with their perspective of what a Métis person should look like. I must admit I am no expert on the culture and I am still actively learning more about it and my family's heritage, but nonetheless I am putting in the effort to learn and embrace this part of me and that should be enough, in my opinion, to be able to identify as Métis.

In Thomas King's "The Truth About Stories," he mentions Edward S. Curtis who was known for traveling across Canada and the United States to photograph Indigenous people. Curtis took these photos only when the person was dressed like what he (and others) would imagine an Indigenous person to look like. In a sense, he was fabricating the photos rather than capturing the culture as it is - he was telling their stories how they are expected to be heard rather than how they really are. This is the way I feel when someone says any of the responses above when I tell them I am Métis. It feels like someone is trying to tell my story for me rather than defining it myself. That since I don't look Métis, I can't identify as it. King would have my back on this one. I imagine him telling me that it does not matter if I do not look like a "real Métis" because it is only my own job to tell my story and no one elses.

To anyone struggling with the same issue, I found a short video that helped me deal with some of the comments of not being Indigenous enough.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gh7sEv5S5dE][https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gh7sEv5S5dE]

I feel like Curtis has done an injustice to the future generations with the photographs he took and shared. However, I believe it does not start with him. King states that, "even before Curtis built his first camera, that image has been set" (37). That image being the idea of "the Indian" and because this image has been seen and used for so many years it seems to be the one that sticks. The unfortunate narrative with this is that it is still seen today in the 21st century, slowly changes to names and logos of sports teams are being made however, not all of them are and I don't think all of them will. It has taken our societty this long to realize that those images and names have a person, a culture behind them. However, how long will it take for us to also realize that, that person, that culture can look different than this preconcived image most have.

This post really had me reflect on my own personal bias's because you are right Shaelynn, I would have never thought you had indigenous background. So now I am wondering how many other people have the same background and feelings that you have, moving forward as an educator I think it is important to realize that we may have students in our class struggling with their identity as well. I think having an array of individuals, like yourself who can share their story as an indiegnous person will help students realize that there is not a certain "way to look" to be apart of the Indigenous culture.